Of course I’d be wide awake now, my body would turn one last time, and the good angel of certitude would halt the things around me, would settle me under my blankets, in my room, and in the darkness put in their approximate places my dresser, my desk, my fireplace, the street-facing window and the two doors. But however well I knew I was not in the homes my waking ignorance had presented in an instant, as distinct images, implying at least their possible presence, my memory would be set in motion; I generally wouldn’t try to sleep again at once; I’d pass most of the night remembering our life of old, at Combray chez my great aunt, at Balbec, in Paris, in Doncières, in Venice, and many more, remembering these places, the people I’d known in them, what I’d seen in them, what others had told me about them.
☙
Certes, j’étais bien éveillé maintenant, mon corps avait viré une dernière fois et le bon ange de la certitude avait tout arrêté autour de moi, m’avait couché sous mes couvertures, dans ma chambre, et avait mis approximativement à leur place dans l’obscurité ma commode, mon bureau, ma cheminée, la fenêtre sur la rue et les deux portes. Mais j’avais beau savoir que je n’étais pas dans les demeures dont l’ignorance du réveil m’avait en un instant sinon présenté l’image distincte, du moins fait croire la présence possible, le branle était donné à ma mémoire; généralement je ne cherchais pas à me rendormir tout de suite; je passais la plus grande partie de la nuit à me rappeler notre vie d’autrefois, à Combray chez ma grand’tante, à Balbec, à Paris, à Doncières, à Venise, ailleurs encore, à me rappeler les lieux, les personnes que j’y avais connues, ce que j’avais vu d’elles, ce qu’on m’en avait raconté.
☙
N o t e s
On places:
Combray. This is Proust’s fictional name for the town of Illiers, which in 1971 renamed itself Illiers-Combray, in his honor. The house of his great aunt is open to the public, and videos of it can be found on YouTube, such as the ones here and here.
Balbec. A fictional name for the seaside town of Cabourg, in Normandy. Photos and more information about it can be found here.
Doncières. This is a fictional name for a military garrison where Proust did a year of mandated service at age eighteen. In reality it was Coligny Caserne, near Orléans.
Venice. According to David R. Ellison, “Proust’s fascination with Venice is well documented. He visited the city twice in 1900; the first time, with his mother, Reynaldo Hahn, and Marie Nordlinger; the second time, presumably alone.”